The C Word

A little over 2 weeks ago, we found out my husband has cancer.  

It's a rare cancer, with an occurrence rate of about 1 in 100,000 in the United States.   We knew when he saw the surgeon that he would be having surgery, but the cancer diagnosis was very unexpected.  

Since then, he's had major surgery, bone scans, CT scans, blood work, oncology appointments, followup appointments with the surgeon, and he potentially has more scans, more surgery with more biopsies ahead, possibly requiring us to travel to the University of Michigan, all before we'll know what treatment is recommended after the surgery. 

I've spent the last 2 weeks packing and dressing his wounds 3 times a day, caring for his catheter, helping him dress and bathe, all the while working my 4 to midnight full work-at-home job as a medical editor/transcriptionist.   

This cancer is so rare, that there are no studies with a large enough sample of patients to be able to even predict 5 year survival rates, recurrence rates and so on.   The statistics that are available are not very encouraging, with life expectancy of 7 months to 2 years after diagnosis for the more advanced stages. 

I'm still trying to wrap my head around all this.  We've been together for 43 years, since I was 18 years old.  We have worked together in the same home office for the last 18 years.  We're sort of joined at the hip.   When you grow old with someone, you expect that at some point, one of you will die.  Somehow, I always thought that if his time came before mine, that it would be a heart attack, or something quick like that, where he's here one day and the next day he's gone.  

It never occurred to me that I might have to watch him die.  

I don't know how to deal with that, so for right now, I'm hanging on to hope that when all the testing is done that there will be a treatment that can cure him, and if not, at least hold it at bay for a few years.   In other words, I'm holding on to hope until somebody tells me not to, and that day is not here.  . 

We all know someone who has been affected by cancer, but somehow, you never think it will hit this close to home ... until it does.  

Until next time, 

Terri 

You Can Call Me Grandma

The Big Guy and KT recently informed us that we're going to be grandparents!! We're thrilled!! We've actually known since shortly before Christmas, but the kids didn't want it made public until after the first trimester, after suffering a pregnancy loss last year. She's into her second trimester now and things seem to be just fine, so we're saying our prayers that things continue that way, and that we'll be welcoming a little one into our lives come summertime.

And yes, I'm already knitting booties. We won't know for a while if it's a boy or a girl, so my color choices are limited!! Yellow is pretty safe, I think.

I finally got around to hanging my mini quilts in the stairwell. As soon as I saw that stairs before we moved in here I thought it would be a great place to display these. Some I made myself, some were received in swaps. There's room to add a few more down the road too.

I haven't been sewing a whole lot, but I did finish a baby blanket I was knitting. I actually started this several months ago. I told the kids I was knitting in "on spec" since I figured someone would be having a baby one of these days!! Little did I know ....
It looks like 2011 is off to a great start for us. It's about time!! Life is good again.

Until next time.

Terri

I've Been a Busy Girl...

I have been a busy girl the last couple of days. I promised myself once I finished the gifts I made for Christmas, I would work on some of my UFOs before I started anything new.

The first project was to finish up some mug rugs I pieced before Christmas. I put them aside so I could finish gifts. I just kind of made them up as I went along. Now that I know what I'm doing, I think I'd like to make some more of these. They were fun and quick, and useful.




The next finish, is a baby quilt I started in 2008. A relative was expecting a baby, and I made a baby boy quilt and a baby girl quilt, since they didn't know ahead of time what they were having. This was one of my first attempts at free motion quilting. I had some problems with the tension on my sewing machine and while the top looked fine, the back was a gnarled mess of thread. I spent hours taking out the quilting I had done and by then was tired of looking at it, so I put it away. (The relative had a baby boy ... lucky for me!! I sent the baby boy quilt. He's 2 now!!)
I've done a lot more free motion quilting since then, mostly on small projects, but I seem to be getting the hang of it, so I thought I'd finish this up. I don't have anyone to give it to, but my boys are at that age where their friends are starting families, so somebody will have a baby girl one of these days!!

Next is a table runner I made for a fall giveaway in blog land in the fall of 2009. As I was quilting it, somehow I got a big wrinkle in the back, so once again, I put it away to be finished another time. Fortunately, I had made two of them, because I wanted one to keep. That one turned out fine and now resides in a home in New Zealand. (That still amazes me that something I made belongs to someone halfway around the world!!)
Anyhow, I finished it up and got the binding on and it's now at home on my coffee table. It's just what was needed there.


My last finish, isn't really a finish ... it's just progress, but I'm happy with it, so including it here. Last year sometime I bought a couple of charm packs of Cotton Blossom by Moda. I didn't have a plan for it, just wanted something new to sew on. I decided to do a disappearing 9 patch. I got the 9 patches made, and that is as far as I got. This week, I cut the blocks up and pieced it. This is a picture of the blocks laid out on my living room floor. I'd like to add a border or two and use it for a wall hanging or a lap quilt in my living room. I don't really have anything in my stash that will work, so I'm going to have to find some fabric to finish it.
While I had the camera out today, my baby girl, Peanut wanted to have her picture taken too.
Doesn't she look just like one of those Ewoks from the Star Wars movie? She's like having a live teddy bear!! Scooter wouldn't let me take his picture today. He's kind of camera shy, but Peanut is a ham ... always has been.

Until next time...

Terri

A New Year ... Looking Forward

There's something about starting a new year. A feeling of new beginnings, endless possibilities, washing away the old and embracing the new. 2010 wasn't one of our best years. In fact, the whole decade kind of stunk!! Beginning 2011 is like taking a breath of fresh air.

I have high hopes for 2011. I won't call them resolutions ... I'll call them goals, but I have big plans for this year!!

In September, I joined Weight Watchers. By Christmas, I'd lost 30 pounds. I still have a long way to go. I don't think of it as a diet, more as a change in lifestyle, a way of eating that is healthier. This time around, I'm learning to understand that I can lose weight and still eat the foods that I love, just in moderation. I'm learning to forgive myself when I slip up, and move on, and the weight will come off. I want to keep up the momentum!!

I'm trying to be more active, which is saying a lot since it seems that the last few years, I've been so out of shape that getting dressed was a workout!! When we moved here, I couldn't stand long enough to prepare a meal without getting back pain. I had a hard time walking to our parking spot. The first few weeks after we moved, my knees hurt so bad, I was afraid I'd made a terrible mistake moving into a townhouse with three levels. But I got used to it. It's been slow progress, but I am making progress. The stairs don't bother me any more, I'm up and down them a dozen times a day. I walk my dogs every night after supper. Not real far yet, only about 10 to 15 minutes. And for the first time in 5 years, I did my grocery shopping without using an Amigo scooter. It doesn't seem like much, but it's a lot for me.

I finally got my sewing studio set up, just in time to make some Christmas gifts. I still need to do some organizing, but it's usable. I've been working on UFOs and I'll have some pictures to post of those, and some of the Christmas gifts I made tomorrow.

Living in less clutter means housekeeping is easier, and I'm finding some balance in my life again, with time to enjoy leisure activities. That had been sorely missing from my life for a long time. Now I have time to sew, to knit, to read. I'm baking our own bread again, and cooking fresh foods.

In 2011, I'm going to learn to knit socks.

I'm going to start playing the electronic keyboard again.

I'm going to finish at least one UFO a month.

I'm going to work up to walking 30 minutes a day.

I'm going to go to my youngest son's graduation from college and not have to worry about how far I'll have to walk to get to our seats.

I'm going to find some kind of volunteer work to do.

And if things go as planned ... I'm going to be a grandma.

Life is good!!

Until next time ...

Terri

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving weekend is all but over. It's Sunday evening, I've just finished up the last of my work for the day, and have a few minutes to reflect on our holiday.

Most of my work life has been in medical facilities, my mom was an R.N., and now my son is an EMT. All of these professions require working weekends and holidays, we have always worked around when we could get the family together. This year, the Big Guy had to work Thursday and Friday, so we had Thanksgiving dinner at his house on Saturday.

Thanksgiving day was spent quietly, with just the two of us, relaxing, reading, watching movies ... and football, of course. We did cook a turkey breast and had that for dinner, (and we wanted to have some leftovers.) It was a great day!!

I haven't been a black Friday shopper for years. There is not one thing on this earth I need or want enough to go out to the stores on the Friday after Thanksgiving!! So on Friday, I prepared some of the food for Saturday's feast, and didn't even leave the house all day. I think I might have even spent the day in my pajamas!!

Our feast on Saturday was a big success. We celebrate with the Big Guy, his wife KT, whatever family we have in town, and KT's family, and some friends. This year there were about 20 people there. My brother and sister came from up north. My 80 year old aunt was there. The Wonder Child came home from school for the weekend. KT's brothers from Washington D.C. and Chicago,

It's kind of a collaborative effort. KT's mom makes a turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes, Big Guy usually deep fries a turkey or smokes turkey breast (this year he smoked 2 turkey breasts) and everybody brings something. We have a great time, and I look forward to it every year.

I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. We always have great food, and great company. And this year, we are especially thankful for so many things.

Until next time ...

A Year In the Life

It's hard to believe it's been over a year since I last posted.

I have to say, it's been quite a year, and I've been rather overwhelmed by it all.

We found out in December we were going to be grandparents. A bright spot in our lives ... hope for the future in the midst of some very difficult times. Sadly, our hopes were dashed by a miscarriage last winter. It was heartbreaking. We still look forward to being grandparents, we'll just have to be patient for a while longer!!

We had to make some hard decisions about our business, and our living situation. We lost our home of 22 years, and moved into an apartment complex. Along with the move, came some serious purging. We were determined to bring to our new home, only the things we needed and loved. If there was no place to put it in the new place, it had to go.

Some of it was easy. I mean, how many sets of mixing bowls or casseroles does one household need? I didn't really need 10 cookie sheets, or 48 muffin tins.

A lot of it was hard. My doll collection, my collection of crystal serving pieces, my silver coffee service, my silver serving dishes, all went. Pieces that had belonged to my mother, my grandmother. It was hard to let them go. I offered my daughters in law anything they wanted and they didn't want any of it.

Life is a lot more casual these days and young people don't use those things anymore. So I let it all go, and hoped that it would go to someone who would treasure owning it as much as I had.

We sold all of our lawn and garden tools, the kitchen appliances, the snowblower. Big Guy came over and took what tools he wanted from the garage and we sold the rest. We sold our boat and our RV, and the truck, becoming a one car family again.

As hard as it was, in many ways it was a good thing. We often don't realize how bogged down we are by our things. Getting rid of a lot of it has given us a sort of freedom. We've pared down, streamlined, decluttered and simplified our lives. We've been humbled and have come to realize that it's all just "stuff" and that the things that really matter in life don't have anything to do with things. It's kind of a liberating experience!!

We've been in our new place a couple of months now ... and we're happy here. No more huge lawn to mow, no leaves to pick up in the fall. No snow to plow in the winter. It's clean and newly painted, with lots of light. We have a pair of cardinals that live just outside our back door, and a bunny who comes to visit every morning. I even have a little space I can plant some flowers in the spring.

I've commandeered a corner of the basement laundry room and I'm working on putting together my sewing room/studio and anxious to get back to being creative. I've missed that. In the move, I found three quilts that my mother had started before she passed away, and I want to finish them this winter, along with some other unfinished projects.

So life goes on, and we continue to reinvent ourselves. The business is still on shaky ground, and we don't know what the future holds ... but we welcome whatever comes. and trust in the Lord to see us through whatever lies ahead.

Someone once told me ..,. if you're going to worry, why pray ... and if you're going to pray ... why worry?

Whenever I find myself feeling anxious about things, I remember that. Praying is so much easier than worrying!!

Until next time ...


Terri

While I Was Sleeping....

Well, I wasn't actually sleeping ... not the whole time anyway!! But while I wasn't looking, our cooler than usually summer has ended and given way to a quite spectacular fall color display. And I almost missed it!!

Honey and I have been so busy these last few months, struggling to keep our business afloat during these tough times, it seems all we do is work and eat and sleep, and outside our little bubble, the world goes on, the seasons change, and time passes and we hardly notice.

Believe me, that's no way to live!!

Since I last posted, my youngest brother turned 49.

Big Guy and KT celebrated their 1st wedding anniversary.

Honey and I celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary.

The Wonder Child went back to school, is writing a weekly opinion column in the campus newspaper (he's a journalism major) and turned 24.

The Poet had an accident and wrecked his car. No injuries thankfully!!

I finally got our taxes done. We had applied for an extension until October 15. (If you remember, my computer crashed in March and I lost a 9 months worth of financial data for the business). So I finally got those done .. and guess what? When you don't make any money, you don't have to pay any taxes!!! We're getting a refund for maybe the 3rd or 4th time ever!!

I was looking for an appropriate picture to post (because I know it's more fun to look at posts wtih pictures in them), but I can't find my picture files at the moment. I probably lost a lot of those in the crash too!! So I'll just have to take some new pictures!!

Soon ... I'm making a vow to look up more often .... lest my life pass me right by!!