I think I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that my husband recently quit smoking. What I did not mention, was that I did not. Yes. There is it. My nasty, dirty little secret.
I've smoked since I was 18 and although I've tried to quit many times over the years, I have never been successful. I've taken three quit smoking classes, and while I did quit each time, it didn't stick. I tried nicotine patches ... they gave me a rash. I tried nicotine gum ... it made me sick to my stomach. I took a self hypnosis class ... and smoked on the way home. I've tried 3 different drugs to help me quit smoking ... one made me sick, one made me sleepy, and the other made me depressed. When I try to quit I turn into a raving lunatic. I'll smoke my husband's cigarettes, which I don't even like. I'll pick through the ashtray looking for butts long enough to light.
I'm ashamed to admit it, but I even watched my mother die from emphysema and held her hand while she poked at the air for a cigarette while taking her last breaths.
Honey and I talked about all the times we've tried to quit smoking, why we failed, what we could do to prevent that in the future, and decided on a plan. We decided that we couldn't both quit at the same time because we get get so short-tempered and anxious and we hit a point where both of us are at our weakest and we go buy cigarettes. The plan was for him to quit smoking first. That made sense, because he won't smoke my cigarettes, or pick through the ashtrays, and I will, so the fact that I would still have cigarettes in the house wouldn't be a problem for him.
He quit smoking 3 1/2 weeks ago. He's been taking some medication he got from the doctor, which has helped him, and I've been trying to be as supportive as I can. He's gotten a little testy from time to time, but basically has done very well and is over the worst of it now. So it's my turn.
I quit smoking on Saturday. This is my 5th smoke free day. There are no cigarettes in the house, the ashtrays have been emptied, washed and put away. I'm doing fine. I don't know what is different about this time, except that I'm really finally ready, I think. I have some nicotine lozenges to get me over the cravings, but mostly, I've just been trying to keep busy. I've got my laundry caught up, started cleaning the basement, knitted a couple of dishcloths, listed a bunch of stuff on Freecycle, and have been sewing 4 patches from my scraps for a scrappy quilt I'll make someday.
It's working. I'm doing it. Soon, I'll be over the hump and I can start enjoying all the good things about being smoke-free. I can sit anywhere I want in a restaurant. My clothes and my house won't smell like smoke any more. I'll be able to have my future grandchildren over with no worries or guilt that I might be exposing them to second hand smoke. And with cigarettes at over $6.00 a pack here, the money I'll save will do nicely to finance my new addiction ... sewing!! It's much less harmful, and a lot more productive.
I'm Terri, and I'm a nicotine addict ... and I've been smoke free for five days.